Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
