It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
