hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
