This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
