How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
