David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Little spoons don't ask big questions
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
