So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
