he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
