I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
