i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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