Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
