I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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