I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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