Do you still have your period?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
