Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My cat gives me a boner
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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