its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
