did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
