STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize