all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
