): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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