bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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