Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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