quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
