And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize