Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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