Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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