I CAN MOONWALK!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
