Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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