I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
