How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize