Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
