i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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