I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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