Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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