I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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