So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
