If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize