He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am available for nakedness
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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