I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
