even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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