Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize