We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize