You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
