Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
