Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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