The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
