Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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