just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize