Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
