So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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