hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
