thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
