I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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