I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My life is pants optional.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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