How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
