I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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