you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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