"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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