how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
