i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
