I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sex in the backyard? Check.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
