ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
