i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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