Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
