That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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