You're so nebulous sometimes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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