Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
