Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
