my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
