It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
