did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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